Hi all it’s Helpful Hank Here
I look back over my life and the many who have passed through it and are still in my life. I think about those who have taught me some pretty valuable lessons whether they knew it or not. The importance of having hope ( The Heart) and the importance of having patients ( The Mind ) are two of the most important ones. Both have saved my life more then once. Kay taught me that if it is impossible to say you can’t then you can’t say it’s impossible. That is hope. My father always said use the right tool for the right job and to never force it because you can ruin it. That is patients. When I did not have both of these things I always found myself either in or drifting towards troubled waters. The problem with getting to close or in troubled water is that it can be double the effort to pull yourself out of them. I think as I get older that I realize that it is a lot of work that I don’t want to do.
I have never been one to toss anyone away. Friends that I have lost contact with over the years I still consider Friends even if they don’t That is just how I am built. I don’t tend to give up on people. I’ve always been that way. In my life thus far I have learned a lot of lessons. Some the easy way some the hard way. But all the lessons I have learned can be summed up with two words Hope and Patients. The very first two people that I learned these to lessons from were my mother and grandmother, amongst many other lessons. My mother and grandmother both taught me that the can be good in anyone and we can find it if we choose. They also taught me that you have to use the right tools for the job and not to force it as well. My mother taught me to cook and my grandmother taught me to bake. From this I learned I needed the right tools for the job and that I had to follow directions. As with anything change happens and we learn to stream line our lives in how we approach it. We learn who we can count on and who we can’t. We learn who is harmful and who is not. Then we make choices, choices of varying degrees. We weight it out figure it out and decide who we can count on or who might be harmful to us given the chance. And sometimes we get it wrong but, if we can learn from the times we get it wrong those can also be very valuable lessons. They can also be very dangerous ones. They can be the ones that take away our hope and patience instead of taking away the lesson of what mistakes not to make we take away the lesson of, Why even bother, or worse, It isn’t even worth it. When you get to this point you have lost all hope and patients. When you do that you stop trying, you stop caring, That’s when you give up and give in. Whether you feel beaten down and become resigned to that or you feel superior to everyone and untouchable. It doesn’t matter you have given up and given in. When we stop feeling for others we can’t really feel anything genuine for or in ourselves. Hope is lost. It is important to find a balance. And we find that balance when we honestly assess the mistakes we have made and move forward in the knowledge that we now how to recognize that mistake and will avoid making it again. And yes sometimes that means we give up and move in a different direction. There are things to be gained from this as well. Sometimes it also means we given in. Again we Assess from what we have learned and experienced. We weigh out the pluses and minuses and make our decision. That’s O.K. because we have honestly looked at the situation and we have chosen the path we chose because we feel it is where we need to be and not because we feel that we have no choice but to be here. There are enough times in our lives that we are forced into boxes that don’t fit why would we want to purposefully do this to our selves? We need to get beyond this type of thinking. One size does not fit all! Sometimes screaming feel as if it is the only option. But is it really? The answer to that is that yes sometimes it is. Screaming isn’t a bad thing. Just scream under controlled circumstances. And what I mean by that is ( and this is nothing new) there is no need to scream at others scream in your car in private in the shower. By all means get it out but don’t take it out on others. We have all heard the say about shit traveling down hill. Why? Why? does it do that? Because there are always those who feel better off then others. The Mistake people make is in thinking that money makes them better off. Can it of course it can but, here’s the thing if your base personality comes from a place of Hope and Happiness you will be happy with a simple life or a life of wealth. You may not want to achieve a higher financial position or you may but the one thing that you will want to achieve is being a better person and learn from your failings and recognized your flaws with the hope that you can change that and knowing it can take time but, also knowing you will have to work at it, having patients in yourself and using the right tools available to you to make that change.
I have always said that we get enough negative thrust upon our lives why open our door and invite it in when we can clearly see it parking it’s car in our driveway? Sometimes we have to lay it on the line and sometimes we have to hold our tongue. Sometimes holding your tongue isn’t a bad thing as long as you can find a positive way to release it outward and not turn it inward. We can’t always say what is on our mind. There are times though that we need to say what is on our minds. We have to be counted which is never to say that ever end justifies it’s mean. This what I’m talking about This is where Hope and patients come in. Hope gives us the ability to see change can happen and the patients we need to find the right tools and reasoning we need to try and bring about that change. We are not always going to be successful. When we are not successful we learn to use new tools that we have been taught can get the job done as well. The internet is a good example of a new tool that has evolved from an old tool, communication. We now communicate in a vastly different manner the we did just 10 years ago. This ability to learn is fueled by hope and patients. Without hope we would fell there is no need. Without patients we would not take the time.
We live in a McDonalds world of instant. Instant satisfaction, instant glory, Instant even,. We take away our uniqueness. We are not always going to be on a level playing field but we can and should treat each other equally, appreciating the differences instead of trying to conform them with little variation. We need to be comfortable in our own differences, accept that while some things can come readily to some and not so readily to others that we still have the ability to achieve what we want it just may take us more time. We need to get comfortable with the fact that not everything should come instantly and easy. That some thing’s, a great many of them are better much sweeter and rewarding when we have worked and earned them. Those rewards come from hope and patients. We had faith that we could get to where we wanted to be and we had the patience to take the time use the right tools and do the job right.
There are many things that can give us our Hope back when we loose it. We don’t often recognize them though do we?
One trick I have learned to do when I drive is to find land marks. Odd ball things that I will remember so that when I pass that way again or come back from going that way I don’t get lost. I guess for me this is part of my hope. What I mean by this is that. When I have lost hope and am trying to find it I find myself keenly aware of the signs that are pointing me towards hope. Like land marks or road markers being aware of these signs can make our journey’s much easier. They can steer us away from roads we don’t want to go down and down the roads we need to go down to find that hope. Sometimes it is a leap of faith. Take our recent election. I am sure there were a lot of people who had to take a leap of faith ( for me it was a no brainier but, everyone is different) on their journey to get hope back, or to find new hope. However one manages to keep their hope and patients alive is what matters, because hope lets us dream of change and patients gives us the ability to want to make that change. One last thing Without Hope and Patience how can you find balance in your life.
Remember we are all imperfectly perfect
Helpful (and Hopeful) Hank.
1. Helpful Hanks Handy Hint : Grow your own Sugar, Stevia plants can be bought at many nurseries and large hardware chains. All you have to do is grind up the dry leaves to a powder and use in place of sugar It is a challenge to find just the right amount of Stevia to use because it is so highly concentrated. Using the tip of a toothpick to scoop out the powder is a great trick for measuring, and it should prevent you from using too much. You can also mix Stevia powder with water and measure out the drops. The limitation in baking with it is that it will not allow browning to happen and it cannot be used in recipes involving yeast as it will not activate the yeast as sugar does. On the plus side you can use it in almost anything and it is easy to grow and you don’t have to re-plant it every year just cut it back in the fall. It is also pretty frost resistant and is safe for diabetics. Stevia grows well in pots and planters.
Write Helpful Hank at: askhelpfulhank@gmail.com
Helpful Hank is written by Russell E. Bertlow © 2009 All rights reserved. No portion of this blog may be reprinted in part or whole without the express written permission from Russell E. Bertlow
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